Indigo Incarnates

I have to vent about something that really pissed me off last night. My choir master has known for years that I have a dissociative disorder. She also knows that it's dangerous for me to drive too late at night. As energetic as I am during the day, that energy fades very quickly all at once. I'm not human. My metabolism just functions differently. So I know that when I start feeling tired, I have about half an hour before I'm no good for driving a car. The choir master knows this too.

And yet...

She insisted I stay 20 minutes past the point in which I said "I need to leave". It just wasn't an option. She demanded that I stick around to practice three additional pieces (one of which I play a whopping four notes!)

So I ran out of energy while driving. Halo incarnated. I'm co-conscious to remember the fact that Halo couldn't get this body's eyes to focus, so we drove home with car taillights and street lights looking like huge red and amber spheres. I don't know how we didn't end up getting pulled over by a cop.

I'm really pissed off that the choir master was willing to put me in a position where I could have wrecked my car. An yes, I know I should have left anyway. But it's my nature to give. It's my nature to help. It's not my nature to say "no" when people ask things of me. It is what it is. But I don't understand how it is that the choir master can know me personally for over ten years and not believe me when I tell her that it's just not safe for me to drive really late. A "few more minutes" turned into 20 and I barely got home.

That's my venting.

Blessed be