Indigo Incarnates

It's been a week since Ostara (spring equinox) and I'm happy to say that it seems like the dreaded, soul-freezing winter really is finally over. It was drizzling today but it was warm outside so I took a two mile walk. The flowers and trees are awakening. I'm really happy about this. I took a few pictures on my route.
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Indigo Incarnates

I have to vent about something that really pissed me off last night. My choir master has known for years that I have a dissociative disorder. She also knows that it's dangerous for me to drive too late at night. As energetic as I am during the day, that energy fades very quickly all at once. I'm not human. My metabolism just functions differently. So I know that when I start feeling tired, I have about half an hour before I'm no good for driving a car. The choir master knows this too.

And yet...

She insisted I stay 20 minutes past the point in which I said "I need to leave". It just wasn't an option. She demanded that I stick around to practice three additional pieces (one of which I play a whopping four notes!)

So I ran out of energy while driving. Halo incarnated. I'm co-conscious to remember the fact that Halo couldn't get this body's eyes to focus, so we drove home with car taillights and street lights looking like huge red and amber spheres. I don't know how we didn't end up getting pulled over by a cop.

I'm really pissed off that the choir master was willing to put me in a position where I could have wrecked my car. An yes, I know I should have left anyway. But it's my nature to give. It's my nature to help. It's not my nature to say "no" when people ask things of me. It is what it is. But I don't understand how it is that the choir master can know me personally for over ten years and not believe me when I tell her that it's just not safe for me to drive really late. A "few more minutes" turned into 20 and I barely got home.

That's my venting.

Blessed be

Indigo Incarnates

I did a ten mile walk on the NCR trail today since the weather was so nice. There isn't much greenery yet since the weather has been pretty uncooperative. So i took some pictures of some pretty rocks. It was a really nice day today and Thistle got to fly. It was really good.

Thistle Incarnates

There is sunlight today. It is good to have sunlight. It is good to fly. The winter has been cold and grey and too little energy. It is good to have energy.

I think of deity and think of how religion tries to help people think of deity. I do not think deity needs religion for deity's sake. But instead, religion is for humanity so humans can try to know deity. I think it is so important that religion is a useful construct to know deity, but religion is not deity. A hammer helps a craftsman, but a hammer is not a craftsman.

I think of how good it is when people use religion to help each other. Like a hammer used to build rather than destroy. It's good to not fight over deity. It's good to understand that we are created by love, are loved, and always shall be loved.

May it be that deity is felt and known for being life-giving and loving. Blessed be.

Indigo Incarnates

Ever since the former governor gave BGE (the power company) permission to operate as an unregulated monopoly, the utility has raised rates through the freakin' roof. My winter heating bill used to be around $250/month, set at 68 degrees. Now it's $650/month, set at 59 degrees. And yet BGE has these public service announcements all day long about how we need to turn the thermostat down in order to "combat the rising cost of energy". Here's an idea: how about just not raise the cost of energy?! If I lower my thermostat any more than I have done so already, I'll freeze to death in my sleep.

We live in an area of the country with nuclear power, so the instability in the Middle East has no effect on nuclear fuel rods that are refined in this country and have a 30-year lifespan.

So... Now that the rates are nearly three times as high as they were three years ago, what has BGE done with the money? Build new power plants? Nope. Hire more technicians? Nope. Finance research in solar/wind? Nope. Improve the infrastructure in rural areas? Nope.

But... They did just announce that the top executives are getting a $32 million bonus this year.

So I freeze in my home, have only a few lights turned on, and can barely afford my groceries because my heating bill is nearly as big as my mortgage, just so a handful of stuffed shirts at BGE can get a $32 million bonus?!

Thanks a lot, Bob Ehrlich.

That's the Republican Way: steal from the working class and give to the rich. It's about the corporations, baby!

Indigo Incarnates

One of the perks of not being human is that when I get any of the pesky human illnesses, they just don't last as long and they don't hit me as hard. Basically, I've missed a whopping six days of work over an 18 year period! Being a changeling does have its advantages.

So... I'm feeling a decent amount better right now. I think the low point was early in the afternoon. But I don't feel too bad now. Hopefully I'll be back at 100% by the weekend. I want to get back to the gym and start exercising again!

Halo incarnates

Illness makes the body tired. Am tired. Don't like it when body doesn't work right. Don't like having illness. Hard to rest. Hard to sleep. Am tired.

Skinny-mom is sick again. Am afraid. Skinny-mom is too skinny. Gets sick too easy. Can't fix her. Always trying.

Am tired. Hate having illness. Hate being tired.

Indigo Incarnates

I seem to have caught a cold. Ugh. I always try to avoid those petty human illnesses. But I'll do my best to surpress the illness. It sucks.

The thing I don't get about the common cold is why one's nose has to keep dripping and dripping and dripping. It's just so disgusting. :( I'm really tired. I haven't sllept well in two days. On the bright side, I got through the Spring Rite and my Wicca graduation before I started feeling too icky.

I never call in sick, so I went in to work. It was really dull.

Indigo Incarnates

I had been taking a Wiccan Studies class over at Turning Wheel bookstore and last night was the last class. So I graduated! Yay!! The teacher (Aleta) gave us cords for our robes to signify that we comopleted the first year training. The second year is going to start at the end of May and will run for a year as well.

She holds rituals at the bookstore once per month also. She saw the Spring Rite on paper and liked it enough that she invited me to lead for the April ritual. How cool is that?

I can't wait to start my second year training. :)

Indigo Incarnates

As you all know, I'm something of a tech junkie. So, a few weeks ago, I bought a 3G phone from T-Mobile to use as a wireless modem for my laptop computer. It worked out pretty good until t-mobile changed their policy regarding the use of phones as modems. Apparently, only EDGE phones are now permitted to act as wireless devices (60-115 kbps). My Sony Ericsson had been doing over 500 Kbps.

So, then T-mobile said they had an alternate 3G phone that was able to be used. This was a Nokia 6263. The trouble is that it also only did around 115 kbps. The reason being is that it's NOT a 3G phone. Customer Care simply lied to me.

So I spent a week fighting with them about this situation and it basically turns out that I have 22 months of contract to look forward to. I think it might be time to cancel when the service is up. They consider it good business practice to change the tules of the game AFTER the contract is signed and then offer no recourse.